thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
