Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
