Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
