he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize