Tell her she can't have a vagina
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
