Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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