Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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