I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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