Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
