3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
