some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
