i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize