i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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