He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
