My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he thought i was a dude.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
