i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm really busy with my period
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