brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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