I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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