u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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