Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize