She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize