My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
