She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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