Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i think i have two assholes
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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