is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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