addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize