I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
