There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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