Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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