Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
