he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
