I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
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