so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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