You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
