let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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