covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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