After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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