p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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