She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
