I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
