i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
