watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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