the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
