Banned from zoo.
Again?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
