I wanna bring you to show and tell
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
