Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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