I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
