so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
