I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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