Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
