After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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