So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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