I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
this is an emotional support booty call
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
