Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
