The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
