I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
