I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
