y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
