Sry I called you an 8
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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