she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
