Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize