I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
