I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
