So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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