I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
