i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
