I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Is it because I queefed?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize