just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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