When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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