I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
