so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize