i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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