we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
