I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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