With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
