I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
