Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
