Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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