The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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