My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
