She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
